After a long, fairly quiet storm day at work, I spent a good half hour chopping the ice-of-doom attached to my stupid little sports car. Unintentionally getting soaked in the process, I may have smoked more than one cigarette while slowly chipping away Jack-Fucking-Frosts aftermath. Did I mention I dislike Winter?
I dislike Winter in the way that a normal person dislikes root canal. Especially when you live in the tropical paradise we Canadians like to call “The Maritimes”. To paraphrase a quote from the Lord of the Rings…
Us: Gentlemen, we do not stop ’til Springtime.
Mother Nature: What about Winter?
Us: You’ve already had it.
Mother Nature: We’ve had one, yes. What about second Winter?
Jack Frost: I don’t think they know about second Winter, Mom.
Mother Nature: What about Mid-Winter? Post-Mid-Winter? Random Springtime Winter? Reverse Winter? More Winter? Construction? They know about them, don’t they?
Jack Frost: I wouldn’t count on it.
It’s a good thing we have our Tim Hortons, our moose meat, & our hockey sticks. Or we might actually consider relocating to Trump-‘Merica, a place the entire world looks at and goes “…really? That’s who you chose to lead you? *shrugs* Alright.”
*Grabs popcorn and waits for the shit to hit the proverbial fan.*
Anywho… Last night’s dinner was delicious. My girlfriend pulled a Deadpool and went Maximum Effort in creating some fantastic Stuffed Mushrooms. No shame here, I kept eating them even after I was full. And then we decided to trek out into the Winter Whatthefuckland to aquire ALL THE ICE CREAM for banana splits. Snow-ice-rain won’t stop us from enjoying a delicious cold treat.
I don’t know how to start or end posts. I’ll figure it out eventually. Chyea.